Prank Calls Can be Funny, but not this one

Saturday I answered the phone after the tech tried to talk to this girl. A teenage girl by the sound of her voice.

'Pharmacist, what can I do for you?'

"Yeah, what kind of lube do you recommend?"

'Well, they're pretty much the same. It's really a personal preference issue.'

'You have to recommend one. I hear some are better than others.'

'KY products are all good.'

'Is this from personal experience?'

now, I pretty much know this is a crank call, but just in case, I stay professional.

'No, this is from sales data. It's what we sell the most of.'

'What are the largest size condoms you carry?'

I go out to the aisle and look.....

'Trojan Magnum XL'

'Are you sure that's the biggest ones you have?'

"yes"

mumbling in background....guy's voice

'You're sure you don't have any bigger condoms."

'Yes'

It gets better .......................

'Do you carry sex toys?'

still trying to maintain my professionalism but I'm getting irritated....................

'No, this is a pharmacy. You'd have to go to a specialty shop for that.'

'So you have them at the pharmacy?'

'NO!!!!!!!!!! I said we ARE a pharmacy and you need to go to a specialty shop for those products'

'Well, can you recommend one?'

'I have to go now. I have another call holding.'

Then the teenage douchebag says.................................

'Bitch, don't hang up on me.'

WTF??????????????

I say, 'I am hanging up now.' Click.

This would have been an amusing little story if not for the very last part. Made me really really really angry for the whole rest of the morning. Crank call if you will, just don't get nasty when people who have a real job to do need to cut your ass off.

Let me show you where to put that cake.

Scenerio: Man shows up to pick up both his and his wife's Rxs. Paying for each person with a different credit card. No big deal to me. Asked which one he would like first...no big deal for him. I rang his up first - totals nearly $400. Man forgot his card in the car. Asks to do wife's first. Fine....cancel out transaction and ring wife's. No problem. Has a shopping cart with a single lonely cake inside. Asks me how much said cake is. [irritation starts]. Have to carefully tilt cake so as to not damage it as our scanner is mounted to the wall next to the register. Inform man of price. He says he will call his daughter to see if she wants it. He returns cake to the cart. [My hands are now sticky] Asks me how big the damn cake is. [I don't know. I don't care. Look at the fucking package that is now 10 feet away from me in your cart!!!] Man leaves cart to go to car to get his credit card. Comes back. Pays for his Rxs [again total was mentioned]. NOW HE ASKS WHAT HE PAID FOR!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I go over the rxs. There are 2 separate strengths of Crestor [which I mentioned the 1st time]. He said he only wanted the lower strength and didn't know why both were there. I don't know either since I didn't take your order. Most likely, you called in both, you dumb-ass. [I know the RPh who filled it should have questioned, but maybe the MD wanted a 15mg dose?] OK...no problem. I can write up a refund that man can take to the front of the store to the courtesy counter [I can give out medicines all day, all by myself if needed, but Lord knows I am too dumb to handle refunds]. Man not happy about having to go all the way up front. Nothing I can do. Then it comes....are you ready......man asks me if I rang up the flippin cake!!!!! NO NO NO. You didn't ask me to, it is still in your cart. You were going to call your daughter and were back in 30 seconds. [My tech is listening to all of this and shaking her head]. I told man he could take the cake with him to the courtesy counter and they could ring up the cake when they handled the refund [I know passing the buck but I was beoynd irritated]

He is now known as the cake man in my eyes forever.